Travel Warning

Do not… I repeat… DO NOT cross people who raw dog modern air travel. No carry on. No backpack. No headphones. No fucks given. Just a baggage receipt erupting from a shirt pocket. These people walk through the airport looking for fights, purposely bumping into those who are traveling with EVERYTHING - a roller, a backpack, a kid in one hand, and an overpriced coffee in the other - hoping to watch these savvy passengers relinquish any illusion of control of their possessions and sanity. Such mavericks are rivaled by only one other type of traveller - the guys who carry on in a garbage bag. Hefty bags, knotted closed, and full of clothes and miscellaneous accessories. Are the clothes clean or dirty? And is that 1979 Sony Walkman on your belt? I want to see these two meet in an airport sanctioned octagon in the nearly abandoned terminal B in MSP. Who ya got? Place your bets!