A Boredom List

Every time you don’t re-rack your weights, a redneck buys another gun. 

Every time you skip leg day, Pete Davidson steals your girl.

Every time you drive slow in the left lane, Taylor Swift releases another mediocre re-release version of the same mediocre song.

Every time you create a trendy TikTok, another dude gets the broccoli top haircut and a dangling crucifix earring 

Every time you litter, another man buys a microphone and starts an “alpha” podcast.

Every time you open a dating app, a Fox News anchor is summoned out of the void.